Lately, I’ve been living with some knee pain. My right knee is no stranger to surgery or pain.
When I was around 16 years old, I had my first arthroscopic knee surgery. Oh the joy!
The surgeon gave me some liquid codeine to help with recovery and I slurped that shit down like it was going out of style. I felt no pain until the refills ran out. Then, I went right back to the marijuana which seemed to help somewhat. I wasn’t treating Glaucoma but, it was doing the trick. Can’t do that shit anymore…
That was 26 years ago.
Skip ahead 24 years.
I tore the medial meniscus in my right knee again! Holy shit did it hurt. I don’t know how I dealt with that kind of pain, those many years ago.
So, one MRI later and I was back under general anesthesia while the good Dr. Vikram Brahmabhatt worked his magic. A few hours later I was a space cadet and mobile again, somewhat. The lovely lortab kept me fairly comfortable. In and out of reality I recovered fully after 6 weeks.
The Dr. told me there wasn’t much left of my right medial meniscus and I needed to be careful and lose some weight. I scoffed at his warning and went on to gain more weight and lift and turn ways I shouldn’t. I’m such a brilliant mutha fucka!
Let’s jump ahead another 2 years. I went into to see the good doctor because I was experiencing swelling and pain in my right knee again.
Dr. Vik came in the room stopped dead in his tracks, cocked his head and pointed at my stomach, “that’s obscene!” I was a bit taken back and I think I was ready to strike when I conceded to the truth and admitted that I had been really overdoing it.
He gave me a script and told me to lose some weight. Off I went to lala land once again with Lortab.
I exhausted 3 refills and went in to see the Doc for a follow up.
He was pleased I had lost 17 lbs. in two weeks but assured me there was much more to get rid of. Really? I’m so glad he was there to take my money and be condescending at the same time. WTF! Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy but, sometimes I want to deck the fucker!
After the examination of the suspect knee, it was clear that the swelling was not subsiding and the pain remained. He was pleasant enough to dig is fucking thumb into my knee joint damn near sending me into orbit however, I would quickly learn that this was nothing compared to what was coming.
I could see the “nahnah nahnahnah nahhh I told you so” look on his face… fuck YOU! FIX ME! He gave me another script of Lortab (thank God) and ordered an MRI. Not just any MRI but an MRI with contrast dye. What’s that you ask? Well, let me enlighten you.
Radiologist: Hello Mr. Sankey. Have you had an MRI before?
Me: Yes
After some other bullshit chit chat…
Radiologist: Today we’re going to inject some contrast dye into the joint of your knee to get a good picture of what’s going on in there.
Me: Ok… [I read about the procedure – it’s what I do, I research shit]
Radiologist: I will inject some Lidocaine into your knee and then the dye. We’ll then go into another room where the MRI machine is and take some more pictures.
Me: [watching the needles being filled, one after the other] Ahmmm, ok. Is this going to hurt?
Radiologist: You may feel a little sting as I inject the Lidocaine.
Me: [ok that’s normal] Ok, that’s normal…
There was to be nothing fucking normal about it. He jabbed that fucking needle into my knee and I never felt pain like that in my knee. I jumped and he apologized and told me that he was hitting the bone while trying to get into the joint area.
After the fourth time he hit the bone I prayed he would instead, shove a cactus plant up my ass and pull it in and out a few times. What the fuck! This went on for another 15 minutes at least. I know, sometimes it seems longer when you are enduring torture but, it really did.
Radiologist: [while still jabbing and wiggling the needle around inside my knee] Almost done Mr. Sankey
Me: [really, I was hoping this would go on all afternoon] ::grunt::
Radiologist: Are you ok?
Me: [shut the fuck up before I grab your balls and rip them through your throat] ::grunt::
I can only compare this shit to some sort of medieval torture. My knee is in some serious pain and I’m finally getting some relief from a double take on the Lortab. Where is it written that I should go through so much pain?
Today, I find out whether or not I need a third surgery. I hope not!
Anyway, it hurts and I feel stoned and it hurts and I feel stoned and it hurts…
Later!